Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Learning

10 months later, I'm finally posting something. Talk about being dead.
Last I posted, I was struggling to find a direction in life. I did officially drop out of school of Jan 2015. Not something to be proud of but you have no idea how happy I felt when I waved the dropout letter towards my friend. I feign feeling sad but honestly it felt like a huge burden lifted off my shoulders.

The story that comes after was the one that has shaped me into the person I am today. I took up a part time job at pizza hut. I'd only intended to stay there for 3 months while I was looking for a proper full time job. I ended up being there for a little over a year. Needless to say, it was one of the best environment I've worked in. I became more outgoing(?), I was no longer the same old shy person and I grew some balls(confidence) in meeting new people.

Even with such an amazing environment, I did fall into a slump. Twice, I took 2 weeks leave from work because I simply couldn't focus and I was still affected when looking at people being happy with where they were in life. I wouldn't say that I was jealous but I had this habit of comparing myself with the people around me. Some days I would say "I love what I'm doing!" and there are days when I wake up and just start berating myself for being where I was in life.

Like a ray of sunshine right after the rain, I was accepted into my current job. At this very moment, I'm still a trainee after and left with a little over 2 months before I'm done with the training.
When I first started, I fell back into my old ways. I was hella quiet. I was afraid of opening up. I had my lips shut when working with new people. I knew I was doing that yet I still asked myself "why do people not like talking to me" (honestly i deserved a wake up slap)

I dare not say that this might be my calling. That this might be my future profession because for all you know it might just be temporary. But I am really happy with where I am now. I've learned to stop comparing myself to others. I've learned to accept myself for who I am and if I ever feel unsatisfied, I should make the change that I want to see. I've learnt that not everybody is going to like you for who you are so you should stop doing things to just satisfy someone else. Most importantly, I've learnt to live in the moment. To enjoy every second of it. I've learnt and I'm still learning.

Would you come on this journey with me?

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